There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
