You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
literally had 100 drinks last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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