I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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