so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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