I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
