But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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