so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
