Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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