I just threw up on my dentist
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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