Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
