I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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