Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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