I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
