WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
