Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can't turn off my feet"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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