guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
