Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
