ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
