Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
