I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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