Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
