we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
