Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
