M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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