3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
