Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
