WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
