We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
