i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
