just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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