Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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