i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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