does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
