Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
