I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
