Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
