all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
