Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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