All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
