Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
