Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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