Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
