he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize