Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
