She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
