a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
