I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
