yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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