I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
