It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
