I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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